Killing Me, Killing You
by Sexy-Cat
Summary: The distance between love and hate is hollow. No one has ever known this better than Draco Malfoy. And, somehow, he is going to experience his contradictions. Slash, HPDM


_**Title : **Killing Me, Killing You_

_**Pairing : **Harry & Draco_

_**Disclaimer : **I do not own the characters, everything belongs to JKR (our queen), and I do not make money out of this. _

_You must pardon me if this writing contains a few mistakes, I am only learning english and do not excell at it, but however, I tried my best and I hope it will be good enough to please some of you readers._

_You must tell me what you thought of this if you read it, I beg you to. It means very much to me._

_Please, R&R !!_

_PS : I wished to thank **Natalie668** for her nice PMs and reviews. And for her encouragements as well. Thank you ! And long life to HPDM :p_

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_**Killing Me Killing You**

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I hate him. I really do. I hate every tiny, little inch of him. From his feet to his perfectly well drawn back. From his dark and rebellious hair to his wounded skin. From his green, treacherous eyes, to his full and red lips.

I dislike him. I hate him. I loathe him.

I like him. I love him. I worship and fancy him.

This may sound a bit, well I admit it, really nonsense, but actually, that is the situation I am in.

Someone said, I can't remember who, that the distance between loath and love was hollow. I have never known something truer than this. Even though it may sound silly. You know, as well as I do, that loving someone is caring, is being Hufflepuff each second of the very day, is seing flowers when there are only shadows, is being actually like drunk, because you know, a sane person could not possibly be so happy and so unaware of all the unhapiness of life with his whole entire mind and thought, so loving is living on a white cloud somewhere up in the sky AND most of all, being obsessed by being at his side, redrawing each inch of his body, kissing his lips and skin ...

And hating, well hating. Wanting to injure him deeply. To be the only one wounding him, the only one yelling and spitting and snapping at him. To be the only one that could accurate him on a wall, where he is left undefense, being well aware that you could do what you want to him, hurt him, kill him. Allowing all your anger and hate to get out of your very soul, to find their way, creeping out of the shadows of your flesh, to their source, and let them hit him with all their power. Let them eat him. Until he falls on his knees and begs you to stop. To forgive him.

I want to be the only one at his side. But in both meanings. That is the problem.

The mere thought of him makes me ill. And the mere thought of him makes me want him right here, I'm breathing hard and getting obviously, excited. To excited for hate only to bear.

So now you know the problem, let's name it. Harry Potter.

You are well aware now, of all what I revealed implies. -

My name is Draco Malfoy. I am actually sitting at a table so as to eat, but in fact, I do not. I just can not. He is over there, licking his spoon.

I musn't even think about him. If I do, I will ... fail again I guess. A Malfoy can not fail. He is not allowed to do so.

Even though, I can not bear this alone. I shall not be the only one to suffer.

And why are there so many people, so many faces I do not care about. So many faces I do not even know about. So many I do not hate, so many I do not love. And so many I just do not know anything about. But over there, there is one I do. The one I love and the one I hate with my whole entire soul and body. The one who has bewitched me, for he must have, in some way.

Why should someone like me be attracted like a magnet by his whole person, may it be in one meaning or another, if it was not for I was bewitched ? -

I must get rid of it.

I mean, NOW. Before someone is becoming aware, and before seing myself jumping on the very survivor and, if they let me go so far in front of everyone, fuck him. This mere thought makes me become hard even more.

I stand up from where I was sitting.

I walk out of the room, I do not know where my feet lead me to, it does not matter, anywhere, if he is not around.

Footsteps.

Someone follows.

So this is it. I am on the edge of the decision of my life.

I do not even need to turn round to know who has followed me. For I know his footsteps. I know the way he sounds when he walks.

Surely, you did not know that I could be so attentive. Neither did I. I am now, for I am desperate.

I do not know what will follow. I simply stop and wait, wait for him to act.

For if I act, I know how it will finish. I will begin to insult him, then beat him, and then, try and get us a deserted a very deserted room, or any other area, and fuck him.

Bad idea Malfoy, do not think nor fantasy, altough fantasying is even worse-

He does not speak. He has reached my side and I can feel his breath on my back. This makes me go even mader, if possible. Does he really wants to kill me ? I mean, I may do want this sad end for him sometimes, but either way, I could not even finish to think about it, that I would find myself caressing his lips with mine, or, worse, pulling my leg between his...

A hand on my shoulder. He turns me round, and here I face him, the great survivor. If I had known, I would have carried a camera with me ! I'm joking, do not worry.

He is so damn close. Too close for me to feel sane anymore.

And yet, I have never felt so sane. I can sense my whole entire body, each inch of it, from the tips of my feet to my lips, as every tiny inch of it is aching. Aching for him to act, for him to stop looking and me, and act, I mean is it that difficult just to say something ?

I am trying my best so as not to pull him closer. And great, he is cocking his head to the side, and arching his eyebrow. I hate when he does that, because then, I just forget everything. Where I am, who he is, including my name and what I have to do. That I have to follow rules, so as not to tarnish this very name, that he is a guy, and, on top of that named Harry Potter, and that I hate him. Then, there is only him. His gleaming green eyes. His dark dark hair, falling on his face, hiding tiny inches of this eyes I want to vanish into. His full lips I want to kiss, to bite, to claim as mine.

For he has to be mine, or else, I am fading away.

His breath on my skin.

His eyes upon me.

And yet, there is only loath I can see. If only mine would show the same. If only I did not want to pull him in for a kiss, for more. If only I did not want to claim him as mine, for when I want something, I need to possess it whole.

He is never, ever going to pull in.

He is not even going to say something.

He just keeps looking at me, destroying me and making me want him more and more and more.

And just what am I supposed to do ?

If this glaring is not going to end soon, I do not know what I will do. Worse, I do. And I fear this.

Why does he have to be so close ? Why does he have to breathe ? I mean, I do want him to live right now, because well erm, if he does not this whole thing does not make any sense, and I won't give him up, even to death. But why does his breath land on my very skin ? Why do I have to shiver ?

Flesh. My failing flesh and heart.

Here we are again, the whole "human beings are failures" thing all over again.

"- You are wasting your life"

Okay, so now, the Harry glaring Potter has become able to speak. Wow ! How great ! Just when is he becoming able to kiss and fuck huh ?

"- Just what are you saying ?

- You said "Humans are failures" so I said "You are wasting your life".

- I did not ask you to answer that one ...

- Well, but I did. Do not keep thinking that nothing is worth doing for you will die. Every single moment of your life is important for in every single moment, you could be doing something you really want to, something you ...

- Why, Potter, do you always need to repeat to me the speaches Mr. Lovey-Dovey made to you ?

- Why, Malfoy, are you disrespecting your director ? Should I report you ?

- Why, Potter, are you being such an arse ?

- Because you keep ...

- I, erm, what ?"

Well, Malfoy, you are the arse. Harry fucking Potter is telling you you should do what you want to, even if he does not know what that implies, but well, he is ... So why do you keep talking huh ?

Maybe because... I am afraid of this whole thing. He could not respond to my kiss. He could be disgusted. He could be an effing homophobe !

Is this worser than him kissing me even harder ? Is it ?

Well, what's worse, is that I am talking to myself now... Pray Merlin I did not say this aloud, like the previous one ...

"- Erm, Malfoy, you ...

- Why, Harry, does my face bother you ?

- Why, Malfoy, are you getting closer ?

- Why, Harry do you want me to jam you against the wall instead of ?

- Why, Malfoy, are you ...

- Breathing ?

- Why, Draco, you ... erm, I do not think I ... -"

So, he did.

He pulled him in, and did not wait for him to answer his questions. The Harry Potter was now a specimen under Malfoy control. He was being pulled into a kiss he was not able to determine yet the meaning of.

Sparkles all around.

And I forget everything. My body does not ache, but my heart nearly stops beating. Or at least, that is how it feels.

I feel free now, from everything. Free like I could fly and touch the sky.

As if I had wings.

But I do not, and landing back on earth will be even worse. Nothing is going to hold me back.

I do not want him to stop.

He has his hand in my hair, and his body is so close and yet I still sense he is another person. I want to melt in him. To form only one, and well, you do know what that means right ? Or are you still unaware of how your mom and dad did you ?

And if you aren't I will have to ask you the question : "have you never seen two guys fucking before ?"

"Well, if you haven't I'd say it's time you begun !!" (Yeah, well I love Tim Burton & Brian is my king, if he was right there, I'd fuck him)

So, where was I ?

Oh, hum, yes. Harry's lips on mine. His breath melting with mine. And his hand in my hair.

He is actually ruining my hair, but I do not care. All I now care about is the way his tongue is moving in my mouth, and the way he is nearly sucking the life out of me, and surely the hell.

If there's a heaven, it has to have his taste.

Okay, this sentence sucks, but Harry likes cute sentences, so I'll just say this one to him, erm, in a long time, that is to say, after I am finished with this breath-taking kiss.

And this is going to take ages.

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The End.

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_I do thank you for your attention, and hope this bit of writing has pleased you._

_It is my first "fanfiction" written in english, so I do hope very much the mistakes aren't **that** bad._

_Review, if you please !!_

_See you,_

_Johanna._


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